WindTurtle Studio
Native Humor
I consider these jokes culturist, not racist.
Humor is about communicating insight.
And while everyone’s wonderful, no one’s perfect.
Please enjoy these jokes - it's good to laugh at ourselves and each other. In most cases, no source is given for these jokes, because the authors are unknown - this material is largely based on email, newsgroup, or web postings of presumably anonymous and/or public domain material. Efforts to identify the original author and/or copyright holder have been unsuccessful.
Let the humor begin!
The tribal wisdom of the American Indians, passed down from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you're riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. In modern education and government, however, a whole range of far more advanced strategies are often used, such as:
- Buying a stronger whip.
- Changing riders.
- Threatening the horse with termination.
- Appointing a committee to study the horse.
- Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.
- Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
- Re-classifying the dead horse as "living impaired."
- Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
- Harnessing several dead horses together to increase their speed.
- Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
- Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
- Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
- Re-writing the expected performance requirements for all horses.
- Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
There were three American Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin. One slept on an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
Consider the plight of an American Indian chief --- afflicted with a certain intestinal complaint --- who went to the medicine man for help. The medicine man advised him, "Take this twelve inch piece of rawhide. Bite off an inch of the thong, chew it thoroughly, and swallow it with cactus juice. Repeat this process once a day, preferably early in the morning, until the thong has all been chewed. Then, make an appointment and come back for consultation. About two weeks later, the chief returned to the medicine man and indicated his dissatisfaction. The medicine man inquired cheerily, "Is your stomach still upset?"
"Yes", growled the chief. "The thong has ended, but the malady lingers on."
Reported to be from the Bartlesville Magnet, 31 August 1900: There was a lawyer in the Indian country who had none too good a reputation for honesty. One of the aborigines employed him to do a little legal business. It was done to the client's satisfaction, the fee duly paid, and a receipt for it duly demanded.
"A receipt isn't necessary," the lawyer said.
"But I want it," replied the red man. There was some argument, and the attorney finally demanded his reason. "Since becoming a Christian I have been very careful in all my dealings, that I may be ready for the judgment," answered the brave sententiously, "and when that day comes I don't want to take time to go to the bad place to get my receipt from you."
NASA asked an elder Navajo to record a message to put on their newest S.E.T.I. satellite, along with messages from other cultures and languages. He spoke a message, the satellite was launched, and one day CNN broadcast the messages being sent into outer space from the spacecraft. Laughter is heard coming from the entire northern portion of Arizona. When CNN asks why the people are laughing, a man from Chinle tells them, "The message says, 'Watch out for these guys; they've come to steal your land!"
Question: What's the latest white wine?
Answer: "I want a casino, too!"